This particular incident happened to me recently and it really made an impression on me when it happened so it was quite natural that it was the first thing that came to mind when asked to write about an intercutural conflict that happened.
I was at Parkway Parade with a couple of friends on a Saturday afternoon. After our lunch at the food court, we wanted to go window shopping so we went to the lift lobby to take the lift up. There was a Caucasian lady, with her trolley and her two children sitting in it, at the lift lobby when we got there. When the lift came, one of my friends moved forward to try to get into the lift but the Caucasian lady snapped at him for not queueing up. We were all completely stunned!
I think that Singaporeans are generally well-behaved. We (sort of) queue to get onto the bus, we queue to buy food. There is a "first come first serve" mentality. However, in the above situation, there was absolutely no question that both groups of people would be able to fit into the lift. And usually, nobody really queues for the lift right?
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Hey Pei En,
ReplyDeleteReflecting on what you have shared and comparing it with my post, I wonder how often would we, if we find ourselves in a foreign country, dare to speak up about a different practice that is taking place right in front of us?
cheers
Hello Pei En,
ReplyDeletethis is an interesting situation. Probably the lady was worried that there would not be space left available should you and your friends entered before she and her trolley (with kids) did. And probably as a protective mother, she snapped at your friend. I guess if she were more polite, or if you and your friends waited until she entered the lift, things may turn out differently?
And in my opinion, she was the more 'needy' party. Just like when we take public transport, we should give up our seats to people who need it more than we do, like the elderly, pregnant woman etc. It was probably why she thought she should enter first.
Regards,
Michelle
Hi Pei En,
ReplyDeleteI agree that Singaporeans are generally well behaved in many ways. But still, I think it is rather discourteous of your friend to try to rush for the lift when there's someone already waiting for it. (just a thought!) Like what you said, perhaps it's the "first come first serve" mentality ingrained in us Singaporeans.
Not only can this behaviour be seen at lift lobbies, it is extremely common at MRT stations! It irks me when I see Singaporeans (that's an assumption I made) crowd right at the door waiting to get on the train when the train is stipulated to reach in 2mins. I mean, how inconsiderate is that? How do people on board the train get down if you're blocking the exit. There was once I saw a crowd squeeze their way in the moment the train door opened and this poor girl was trying to alight. She was obliged to take steps back to allow the crowd in before she could alight just before the doors closed.
Singaporeans are well behaved without a doubt, but when it concerns "first come first serve", we forget to uphold our image as well-behaved. I mean, such situations are already happening at the MRTs even when there are arrows guiding people to where they should place themselves when the train arrives. Can you imagine if those arrows do not exist?
Perhaps we should have that for lift lobbies too! To suppress kiasu-ism! Hahahah.
I don't think anyone queues for lifts, but to be honest, if someone tried to push past me to get into a lift, I would still feel rather irritated, especially if I was standing quite close to the doors. I don't expect people to wait in line for lifts, but I still can't help thinking that it's rude of people to push past.
ReplyDeleteBus queues confused me when I first came to Singapore. I wasn't sure if people were crowding randomly or just lining up in a weird unrecognisable manner. They looked like they were crowding, but it also sort of looked like they had some kind of protocol for getting on since there didn't seem to be any pushing or shoving. :D
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ReplyDeleteThank you for your description of the observation, Pei En. That description is clear and concise, but you give little in the way of an analysis. You don't interpret your friend's behavior (except to say "first come first serve," which is not demonstrated by this example) nor that of the "Caucasian lady."
ReplyDeleteYou do say that Singaporeans are generally "well behaved," and that is the crux of this issue. What your definition of well behaved and someone else's is might be different. Right?
So what variables were at work in this scenario? can you explain the incident in terms of values, beliefs and norms?
Hi Pei En,
ReplyDeleteToday when I was queuing the lift in central forum,there was a guy with big bag rushed into the elevator before me.Then I remembered your post again.
He indeed seems really hurry to something,and he actually ran right after drumped down from shuttle bus.I could understand him that he mush have something hurry to do.However,if he might say something like"sorry" or "excuse me",it could be even better.
I think poeple are generally polite and well-behaved, but only on special occasions when they have something important,they kind of forget the social moral behaviours.